So your marriage is falling apart and you're worried your child is autistic? Be sure to let that weird girl from grade school know.

So I hated the new Facebook, blah blah blah. I am coming to appreciate one feature that piqued me at first.

Look on the far right, below all the unaccepted gifts for Zynga games you aren't playing. It's the suggestion box! It suggests people for you to friend, and friends you haven't interacted with in a while. I thought this was further obsessive mapping of my social networks so I can be tracked if I ever go rogue*, what with the constant encouragement to form connections! interact! talk to old friends!

Anyways, chances are you didn't listen. You're such an iconoclast.

I've found it very useful for something else. If I start to type a status update that's maudlin or a bit on the oversharing side, I glance over to the right. There's the face of my first boyfriend, right above the face of a very pleasant coworker who I knew for over a year before I realized he was dating another coworker. Those dudes are going to be reading my update.

I type something about kitties instead.

Oh good Lord, I wish to heaven that the people who have me in their "reconnect with Jane!" box had the same habit. Good golly, it would be nice.

*We all know I'm swimming to Maui when I go rogue**, since Ryan and Amy are too grown up to use Facebook.

**Did I spell that right? I've been reading the Rouge Angles of Satin article on tvtropes, and it really messed with my homonym spelling. I used the wrong "there" and "its" this morning, and must now find some way to restore my honor***.

***I also read about the 47 Ronin. All I can do is shake my head and say "Oh, Japan."