So ladies, (I believe I now have at least two lady readers) recall how in college you'd be talking to a dude about something charming and innocuous (like how to set your physics TA on fire) and suddenly you'd realize that you were in a conversation? The sort of conversation where being charming and diffident would lead to awkwardness about sex? And then you tried to break the world record for most uses of the word "boyfriend" in under a minute?

Right, at some point I decided to stop mentioning the boyfriend. It gave the impression that turning a simple, playful conversation into sad tales of emo woe was a perfectly acceptable wooing strategy, but I was sadly already taken. Also, after you snap at a man, you can go back to borrowing his notes. You can't do that after the significant other freestyle event. And I like to save the "O, if I were not enamoured of my love, I would dally with you, kind sir" for when it's kinda applicable- i.e, heavy duty harmless flirting.

So I saw the first dude I ever flirted with at the grocery store! We were from different cliques in junior high, but we used to bait each other shamelessly. We got about two minutes into a conversation, and then he dropped "wife" like six times. I smacked my head and said "Oh, I'm engaged! I just get so tired of all the wedding crap it slips my mind." (See, this is what I get for leaving "boyfriend" out of significant conversations. Also, least believable truth I've told all day.)

I think I may owe a few emo boys from Physics 7 an apology.