Plays by sense of smell

I've long had an Abbeyesque aversion to motor boats. Giant noisy things, deeply inferior to canoes, and of course polluting our precious waterways. Yes.

But I work on a giant reservoir now. Engines are so... convenient. ("What do you think this land was like before they put the dam in?" "Remote.") If there were no motorized craft on this lake, surveys would turn into week long canoeing trips. This would be pretty pleasant in June, sure, but in August and February? Hell.

And I would have probably died in that storm. Ahahaha.

Also, in spring all the other people on the lake were retirees on personal houseboats and grandfathers fishing with their adorable grandchildren. Frikkin' adorable. If this is what motorized watercraft means, I'm a fan.

Right. Now it's July, and other people have started using the lake. These people are not old. They own $80,000 dollar watercraft or rent them for $4000 a week. Then they drive erratically and rapidly up and down the various arms of the lake, towing people behind them without flags and blasting terrible music. Lotta Beyonce, because owning a boat is all about the ladies. Lotta Michael, lotta Madonna, because people who spend that much money on boats are a certain age. (old.) I recognized the unmistakable "MIDI Tribute to the Blues" once, meaning that the unseen boat operator and I share a special bond- they are apparently one of the thousand people who heard that terrible terrible arrangement. Sadly, we are separated by a vast gulf- they own a copy of the music, and are willing to play it. In public.

(Yes, the arranger called it an arrangement instead of a song. It was a thing.)

Today there was a boat playing "Pinball Wizard" and driving like me, age seven, truck full of firewood, in a thousand acre vernal pool. That is to say badly, and believing that turning the steering wheel a lot is the point.