Friday, April 22, 2011

tant pis

Even though three lovely employees of the Employment Development Department have assured me that "seasonal position" and "definite work start date" mean I don't have prove that I'm searching for work, I still keep getting the "look for work" requirement. Sorting out that I do not have to look for work because I have a job is time consuming and inevitably delays my checks.

Yes, I am aware that I am complaining about the effort required to receive my free money.

Regardless, I've decided that it's just easier to apply for a job. District botanist in Montana? Sure. Wetland delineation regulator in Lodi? Yeah, OK. Weed monitoring crew at the Presidio? Why not?

Oh right, because I'm qualified.

But the application asks if I'm "Familiar with nature". And I am! I take all sorts of liberties with nature! I don't respect its boundaries! We grew up together! Nature has tamed me! And I just happen to be the embodiment of nature's supernatural powers!

I do appear in the guise of an animal. (human) I do change the shape of nature. I poison nature's enemies! (the aforementioned noxious weeds) When nature tells me what to do, I do it. I've never knowingly been the agent through which nature's curses were enacted, but I can try!
And by the time they offer me this position, I will be back at work. At my real job.

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