So. I go to Pilates Wednesday mornings. This Wednesday, my mother woke me up and explained that we were going to Pilates. It wasn't until we were halfway to the next town over that I realized she was talking about a different Pilates class in a different place. The instructor did not deign to show up for said class, so we ran on the machines and then sat in the hot tub. I was piqued about our miscommunication- and about not getting to do my stretches- so I was trying to be exceptionally nice to my mother.
Thus I mentioned that I was going to a costume party Friday, and asked if we might have any aquatic space Viking costumes.
We didn't. (I know that you are surprised.) We did have a WHOLE DAY to find and make a costume for me and a costume for C. I was gonna oil my boots, do some laundry, maybe find a funny hat... But now I have a costume. She's very excited because she has some lizard print fabric from 1998 that she finally gets to use. We went to the used clothing store and picked through their Halloween boxes in the basement, we hit up the neighbors for skin friendly adhesives so I could attach gills and we are currently dying gardening gloves and leggings into more acceptable colors. I... I live in a world where my attempts at pleasant conversation lead to me crawling around in the rafters, looking for the flippers from the penguin costumes.
Because we own nine penguin costumes. NINE.
Now, if I'm an aquatic Viking, I will necessarily be hunting aquatic reptiles. I have decided that they are some form of marine iguanas- pleasant animals, wouldn't hurt a fly. And I am thus reminded of the afternoon Darwin spent throwing an iguana into the ocean.
He grabbed a likely reptile, walked to a point, and hucked it into the waves. It swam back to his feet. He threw it in again. It swam back. And so on throughout the afternoon. Little bit of sadism on the father of the evolutionary theory, yes? And further examples of an animal reacting to stress by provoking more stress.
3 comments:
Well, I figured if you were hunting lizards down with a space gun, they were probably the vanguard of a horrible alien invasion.
Fyi, your blog is now the second ranked instance of obtuse koans on google.
I thought most koans were obtuse. Why 'aquatic space viking'? Why not the classic 'space pirate' or 'lizard man'? Was there a theme?
The theme was "Aquatic Space Vikings from Hell". So you know, whatever.
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