Ah, Home

So I've recently moved back to my hometown- back in with my parents, actually. I'm trying to figure out how to say that without sounding either bitter or ashamed- specifically to the people I went to high school with, and so now we're friends. I am, of course, bitter and ashamed- but there's no reason to spread that around.

Anyway, there have been a couple of pleasant surprises- apparently, eight years of C and family have made me positively blithe in the face of parental hurt silences, and other social skills learned elsewhere are transferable to home. However, it seems that my sense of humor is getting stranger and drier and more circular by the year- so even fewer people understand my jokes than they did in the past. I've gained a quiet instinct to egg people on when they're saying silly things- I think that might be another C's family skill...

I'm dancing around saying something- since some of these people might someday read this- that goes pretty much like this. A lot of people here are stupid. Not dull stupid, which is healthy- crazy stupid.

Green glass is infinitely superior to brown glass.

Naso-labial wrinkles make people look like monkeys.

No one should have to pay for yoga lessons.

Every bite of pig should receive its own special grace. (Presumably "I hate North Carolina. nom.")

Islam was created by the Catholic church so that it would always have an enemy.

If you don't speak for nine days, the energy from your throat chakra will give you incredible focus.

A solid Eskimo roll is a sign of a healthy psyche.

There was a guy whose boners could predict bombing raids.

It's all right to hate your parents for giving you a Social Security Number.

No one should mock the cat that's been stuck up a tree for SEVEN DAYS. Also, Plan Hose, Plan Rock, and Plan Dart Gun are cruel.

Einstein was a Buddhist. (Oh, so that's why he left Nazi Germany.)

Brushing your teeth with your left hand will bring you closer to enlightenment.

It's good to be home.