Since being photographed and alumni donation drives are two of my favorite things...

Photo albums from my childhood portray a sullen girl, daring her father to continue urging her to smile and take more precious time from sitting in the sun reading, sitting in the shade reading, and making hunter-gatherer civilizations out of tribes of acorn cups.

Each year, the yearbook teacher would manhandle me out of my fifth period class and stand me against a convenient wall. Then she'd yank the sweater off of my head, tilt my chin so I was facing her, and flick the hair I'd managed to shake over my face away. I believe I kicked some of my dear readers quite hard in an attempt to avoid being in the Junior Statesmen photo. Sorry-

By the time I was in college, I'd grown a little bit more polite. I was in the new lab building, tearing apart flowers in my beloved Floristics class. (I like to call it the "After four years of university, Jane became employable" class) People came in with cameras and started to snap away. Other students started to mug with good humor. I looked down at my plant bits and did not make eye contact or smile. On the other hand, I didn't throw anything over my head, so I guess that's as good as leaping in front of a camera.

Anyways. Now my school uses the picture of a dilligent and modestly dressed girl to suck donations from its allumni. If you look closely, you'll see that my fingers are scrunched with the effort to avoid crawling under the table.