There's a Douglas Adams quote which I will now paraphrase: Our superficial differences almost completely disguise our fundamental differences. That is, when I spend time with an ESFJ, I am so delighted to actually manage conversation that it is only later I realize we are incapable of communicating.
I know communicating with them requires appropriate garb, a great deal of social niceties, and not getting distracted mid-sentence. On a good day, wading through this would involve me rolling a natural 20. The flustered wacky thing doesn't work at all.
But then later I think about what they said. (I do this for everyone, by the way. I ask my teachers about things they taught me in junior high. I stomp around the woods, considering books and conversations and life stories. Your thoughts are digested and chewed again like cud.) I realize that my core moral beliefs oppose their core moral beliefs. I think that my social construct is imperfect- when I encounter another, I'm anxious to discover if they have better solutions to universal problems. ESFJs think our way is the best and also under attack.
(by people like me) I think testing aphorisms and common sense is a sign of brilliance and the ESFJ does not. An ESFJ is very public about their core beliefs, and I'm not. And I think that people should constantly evaluate whether they're living up to their highest priorities. I... I don't think ESFJs do this very often.
1 comment:
I had to look up the term "natural 20". I realize my childhood was fundamentally different from everyone I am/was friends with.
I am experiencing what R calls an "Ethan Frome moment". Aack.
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