I hate your face, INFJ: you aren't my mom.

INFJs will clean the kitchen without being asked. They will move everything two feet to the left or right, exactly beyond the distance where one glances. They will alphabetize the spices- my goodness, I didn't know I had three jars of allspice- and since so many spices in tiny jars are near the front of the alphabet (damn pumpkin pie) they will built a wall, an embankment that separates the cook from the salt, sugar, pepper, and vanilla.

They will replace the toaster because it is a "fire hazard". They will provide a new toaster that works fine without being watched, so you can wander away while making breakfast and return eight hours later to find cold toast.

Sometimes they will do other household chores as punishment for some complex moral issue no one else understands. Or they will eat all your raisins because they hate raisins and they were cruel earlier, so they need some raisins.

They will help you move. They will be unable to sleep in a strange house. They will unpack your things while you are sleeping and arrange all your books by publisher. You will not find your candy thermometer until the next time you move.

They will be understanding about being awoken at 6 am because you think they hid the cutting boards. They will always volunteer to be the DD, no matter who they are hanging out with. They are the leading cause of hungover strangers on your couch.

You know those sonic pest repellents? No poison, no traps, just a high pitched tone that gently discourages gophers from eating your daffodils. Living with an INFJ is like being the 5% of the population that can hear that tone.